Dear Adam Sandler,
Why? Why do you keep making movies? You either really need the money, or really DON’T need the money. And according to this, you don’t need the money. Not like Nicholas Cage.
Since 2004, you’ve been associated with 19 movies, including next week’s “Blended.” Two of them are “fresh” on Rotten Tomatoes. Two. And those two were actual serious roles – Judd Apatow’s “Funny People” and the 2007 film “Reign Over Me.”
Since “Funny People,” here are the films you’ve associated yourself with:
Just Go With It
Jack and Jill
That’s My Boy
Grown Ups 2
“Hotel Transylvania” has the highest Rotten Tomatoes score at 45%. And it’s damn near impossible to do worse than that on a collaborative animated feature these days.
“Blended” is your 3rd romantic comedy with Drew Barrymore. Is there no one else in Hollywood willing to kiss you on screen?
Your movies have become a bigger joke than when you’re inevitably hit in the testicles in your latest movie.
Stop traveling to exotic locations with your buddies and making each other laugh. Stop having a good time with your friends making tons of money and sharing the screen with beautiful women and talented co-stars. Stop living your dream.
Ok, that actually sounds like a pretty nice life. I’m jealous. You’ve earned your way into America’s zeitgeist and are living the life you want.
Stop making the rest of us look bad.